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Sep. 27th, 2004 | 01:00 am

I'm beginning to see where all these anti-genetically engineered food people are coming from. All these apples have stickers growing on the side of them, and they're smart enough to know what number they are. Red Delicious, 4015. Fuji, 4131. In the next evolution the labels will read "212 of 4131". The evolution after that they'll unionize and we'll all be screwed!

Maybe I should stick to applesauce.

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Sep. 27th, 2004 | 12:49 pm

This weekend was finally yardwork weekend. We've completely ignored the yard for months and months and it felt good to get back into it a little. More than a little, really; Saturday night was one of those fall asleep with you clothes on times, like flipping a switch.

Yardwork at this point mostly involves trimming and scaling back healthy things, or completely removing dead ones that have been neglected. I have pangs of guilt as we go about our outdoor business, since we bought a house with an extraordinary yard, quite lush and green my most standards and simply amazing in Tucson.

Of course, we bought the house from a 70+ retiree without kids or any other obligations. When given the choice between watering the lawn and changing diapers, the diaper always wins. Stinky brown stuff always takes precedence over wilty brown stuff.

Apart from normal maintenance there's a slew of other projects I'd like to be working on. Better lighting, get a storage shed, make a work area, install gutters, level the patio, trim the cats claw vine, remove the vine on house, remove the ree on the side of house, run new sprinkler line, replace the back gate, repaint the back porch, install sliding screen door (for the 53rd time), redo (closer to do) electrical in the back.

In varying degrees, these are the things I lack to accomplish these tasks: time, energy, money, and knowledge.

I'll knock them all off over the years. Hopefullt the list will shrink before it grows though.

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